First up is this little gem, "Bobby, The Little Biker Baby."
Franklin Mint has already received one well-earned drubbing from Yours Truly, aimed at their rushed ad for the Princess Diana doll, in which they superimposed an actual photo of the late royal’s head onto the body of a doll. So eager were they to get this ad out, they couldn’t wait to get the actual prototype completed. Di’s body probably hadn’t even finished cooling. At any rate, Franklin Mint just keep topping themselves with the most heinous tchotchkes ever produced for braindead consumers.
This vomitous example of a baby decked out in his best rough trade cruising gear proves that it’s definitely nature, not nurture. Hey, at least he knows what he wants at an early age.
"What’s that junior? You want something besides your pacifier to suck on?" Oh, baby, let’s not go there, thank you very much.
Boy, to what item or cash-earning enterprise hasn’t Harley Davidson licensed their name? Remember when Harley Davidson conjured mental images of sweaty, hairy, gruesome career bikers? Guys who barely ever bathed, whose presence sent shudders of terror down the spines of anyone around them? Basically, when Harley Davidson and Hell’s Angel were synonymous? These days it’s Harley Davidson Cafés chockfull of moronic tourists. But don’t get me going on theme restaurants. "Oh, but come on, Bob, they’re harmless fun." No, you’re wrong, and if you like those places there is something fundamentally lacking in your character. Be it Planet Hollywood, Hardrock Café, or whatever, they all suck. And if you patronize them willingly, you’re an idiot.
Anyway, thanks again to Franklin Mint for churning out the high quality drek. Long may they reign.
